However, I know now that these recordings of my spiritual development are nothing to be fearful of. Sure.. while reading them I will always be reminded of the maelstrom of guilt and deceit that was my true mind at the conception of these saccharine pieces of literature; but I have come to realize that evolving into the person you are is a process, in which every step is valuable. I was a girl desperate for acceptance, and using the name of God was the quickest, surest way I knew to get people to love me.
The internet will now hold record of Crosby Damron begging for the approval of her friends and family with a high school blog, and I'm thankful. Perhaps part of my life's purpose is to serve as a reminder of the human need for acceptance.
I have come to know that next to food and shelter, rests the inherent human longing for acceptance. Every decision we make, every word we say, every attempt at success, boils down to our relentless need to be loved unconditionally. I need to know I am loved not only in spite of, but because, of what I believe honestly, what I live for, and the mistakes I make. I am working on giving this grace to others, because I know the detriment to the psyche that is caused from living an untruthful life. I vow to never inspire others to live a life dishonest to their heart in order to win my acceptance. I thank the universe and am reminded of the inherent goodness of the human heart every time I am reminded of what I have come to know... that I have a mother, father, brother, and friends who convince me everyday that I am accepted.